Letters to the Refund Dept.

Dear Refund Department:

We want our money back! This new Administration thingamajig sucks.

The previous model, the blue one, was a much better product. This damned red one, although a little slower than the last model, seemed to work okay when we first got it, but then, when we started relying on it, it started messing up everything. Now it doesn't do a goddamn thing we were told it would do before investing in it. Oddly enough, it generally does the exact opposite of what it's supposed to do.

It seems to have zero regard for its owners. If you asked me, I'd say the damned thing is posessed by an evil spirit, much like that notorious 1933 version from Germany.

Whoever wrote the stinking owner's manual filled it with repetitive nonsensicle phrases like, "put food on your family" and "fish and humans can coexist peacefully".

This thing has taken all our money and done God knows what with it. It has overrun and looted the property of one of our neighbors and seems to be making plans to do the same with at least one other neighbor.

It has killed quite a few of our children, and it has destroyed our beautiful back yard with pollutants and flood water. It has cost us our jobs and our retirements. This thing has taunted our enemies and alienated all our friends, who now go out of their way to avoid us.

We fear it may have wrecked our entire future and we demand a full refund. Please send someone to pick this faulty thing up quickly, before it blows up the whole damned neighborhood.

We're going back to the reliable blue model as soon as possible.

Thank you,

The Voter Family

-PS: Please HURRY!

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